Sorry this is a day late!
I started reading this book called "The 5 Love Languages"by Gary Chapman. It's pretty popular so I'm sure you have heard of it. It is kind of a marriage self-help book. It's written on the basis that everyone has a love language and that you don't always have the same as your spouse/partner. So a lot of the time you may be speaking the wrong "love language" to your spouse and that may be why they are not happy. The book has a test in the back so you can figure out what your love language is. Casey and I both took the test and were kind of surprised by the results. Your love language can definitely change when you have kids. For example mine is "Quality Time and Words of affirmation". Casey's was "Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation". One of my favorite parts of the book is in the beginning of the when it talks about how everyone is born with a empty"love tank".
"Child psychologists affirm that every child has certain basic emotional needs that must be met if he is to emotionally stable. Among these emotional needs, none is more basic than the need for love and affection, the need to sense that he or she belongs and is wanted. With an adequate supply of affection, the child will likely develop into a responsible adult. Without that love, he or she will be emotionally and socially challenged.
I liked the metaphor the first time I heard it: "Inside every child is an emotional tank waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty 'love tank'". "
I love this because it can be applied to both adults and children. It can help us see the innocence in our spouse when we realize that they may be acting out because their "love tank" may be running on empty. This is where knowing their "love language can really help". And with raising children this makes it seem kind of easy because all we need to do is love them and kiss them to death!! That's easy. Who doesn't want to fill their child's love tank all day everyday?